Rocket Man

This poem appeared on the Boston Dirt Dogs web site the day after the George Mitchell report was released on steroid use in Major League Baseball:

After Struggling to Win Only 40 Games in His Last 4 Years with the Sox,
Roger Decided He Wanted to Be a Rocket Man Again…

Rocket Man
by: Paul Paliotta (with apologies to Bernie Taupin)

As performed by Roger Clemens in the winter of 1996/1997

I packed my bags last night pre-flight
My pitching days, were near an end
And they said it was the twilight of my career by then
I miss my curve so much, I miss my strikes
I’m loading on some weight
So I think the time is right

And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time
Till Mitchell comes around and then they’ll find
I’m not the man they think I am at all
Oh no, no, no
I’m a Rocket Man
Rocket Man, striking out my foes on anadrol
But I think it’s gonna be a long, long time

This ain’t a young man’s face, I’m not a kid
In fact I’m old as hell
But I got a plan to change that, and I think I will
And all the science, I don’t understand
It’s just a shot into my cheek
And I’m a Rocket Man, a Rocket Man!

And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time
Till Mitchell comes around and then they’ll find
I’m not the man they think I am at all
Oh no, no, no
I’m a Rocket Man
Rocket Man, striking out my foes on anadrol
But I think it’s gonna be a long, long time

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